This section will look at the causes of conflict. We tend to become involved in conflicts because we are different. But it is not our differences that cause us to have conflicts but the way we understand each other’s differences.

As we grow up and all through our lives we learn new things and meet new people. The things we learn and the people we meet affect who we are and how we understand the people around us. These influences in our life that affect the way we think about ourselves and other people as shown below.

The answers we get to our questions can affect how we view others and affect the possibility of us getting into conflict with those people. There are many reasons why conflicts start these can broadly be broken down into 5 different headings. These are: -

Understanding	The difference between what I understand and what you understand
Values	The difference between what is important to me and what is important to you
Style	The difference between the way I do things and the way you do things
Opinions	The difference between what I think and what you think
Interests	The difference between what I want and what you want

Look at the 6 different conflicts below and try and match up the conflicts with one or more of the five main causes by clicking on one of the causes.

Conflict 1
There is a programme on the TV you are watching and your brother/sister comes in and turns over the TV because he/she wants to watch another programme. What do you think was the cause of this conflict?

UNDERSTANDING | VALUES | STYLE | OPINIONS | INTERESTS

Conflict 2
You are going out with some friends to eat but you are a vegetarian and so do not eat meat. However, your friends want to go to a restaurant that has a special offer on. The restaurant only serves non-vegetarian food apart from salads and you do not want to eat salad. What do you think was the cause of this conflict?

UNDERSTANDING | VALUES | STYLE | OPINIONS | INTERESTS

Conflict 3
You are watching the news on TV the story is about a war going on in another country. You think that war is a good thing but your friend does not. You begin to debate about whether the war is a good thing or a bad thing, and your friend gets upset because they have strong feelings about this. What do you think was the cause of this conflict?

UNDERSTANDING | VALUES | STYLE | OPINIONS | INTERESTS

Conflict 4
You are at a party and you are dancing to some music with a friend they are telling you that you are not dancing very well. You say to them that they are also not dancing very well. What do you think was the cause of this conflict?

UNDERSTANDING | VALUES | STYLE | OPINIONS | INTERESTS

Conflict 5
You have a group project to do, and you have a meeting with a friend but when you meet you find that your friend has not done their part of the work for the project. Your friend has not done it because they did not understand what they were supposed to be doing. What do you think was the cause of this conflict?

UNDERSTANDING | VALUES | STYLE | OPINIONS | INTERESTS

Conflict 6
You are walking down the street with a friend when they throw some rubbish on the floor, which makes you angry. They don’t think there is anything wrong with this. What do you think was the cause of this conflict?

UNDERSTANDING | VALUES | STYLE | OPINIONS | INTERESTS

Accepting our differences and understanding our own identities will lessen the likelihood of conflict.
This section has looked at why we get into conflict and how our identities are formed, also how we form our ideas of others. The next page is the CONFLICT PAGE here you can find out more about what conflict is and how it affects us.